Tag: Training

The ambiguity of being human

Posted on by jameseke

By James Eke

From Warrior’s Way Podcast episode #107

I wish someone, decades ago, had warned me about Shenpa and that resistance to the fundamental uncertainty of our situation, our fighting against anything and everything that we cling to and the uncertainty that life itself can bring.

I don’t know if I even realized in the past just how hooked I was to my delusions of who I was. Hooked on the drama of my past. Hooked on the uncertainty of the future. Hooked on believing my own bs.

Let’s face it – society really tries to shove down our throats just how unique and special and individual we all are. This is utter nonsense. You aren’t even who or what you think you are so how are you some kind of shining centre of the universe? None of us are.

Maybe we should have a new curriculm in our schools that teach kids that their uniqueness lies in their connection with everything and everyone around them. That what is more important than you believing you are more important than anyone else is that we cultivate compassion, kindness and understanding – putting others first and our selfishness out the window.

I don’t know about you but in my life I’ve learned the hard way that selfishness only breeds stupidity and suffering. COVID has shown us this as well – people don’t think about others first, or at all, and surprise, we have a pandemic.

We all get caught up in the hamster wheel of life. We somehow think that what we do doesn’t matter, won’t impact others, as long as we are happy or trying to be happy that nothing else matters.

Striving for happiness though is the hamster wheel itself – it won’t get you anywhere. You fill your life with surrounding yourself with things, trips, desires and you still feel empty and think that maybe that next thing will fill the void.

Before you know it you have drunk away a chunk of your life, deluded yourself in any multitude of ways another chunk and simply threw away more of it on other ridiculous attempts to avoid seeing what life is really about.

So how do we get there? Well, from 52 years of making lots of mistakes what I have come to really realize over the past few years is that that you need to let go. You need to see life as it really is – or at least try. You need to stop judging. You need to stop grasping. You need to throw away every negative and destructive part of yourself. You need to stop being mean. You need to stop blaming others. You need to have compassion, kindness, understanding and mindfulness in every moment of your life.

Imagine what the world would be like if everyone thought of others first.

If we showed compassion – no, not showed compassion but glowed with it and spread it into every corner of life.

If instead of being mean, petty, judgy we instead tried to support and understand, to help?

This is the true path. This is the way.

It is also a lot harder than the alternative which is why so few people will ever really get it, why so few people will actually do it.

Someone makes you feel this way or that and instead you judge, you look for vengeance, you spread cruelty. Think about it. Look back on the last time someone supposedly did something to you – how did you respond? Were you kind? Were you compassionate?

We cling to these ridiculous views of ourselves and our own self-importance.

Instead, relax. Stay in the moment. See what is actually happening. Don’t cling to any of it.

Help people. Let go of who you demand yourself to be, who you need others to be. Let go of it all and just, as I keep saying, be a good friend.

There you go.

Clinging to things as we want them or demand them to be won’t help us. It won’t help anyone or anything.

Let’s be better. Let go. Open your heart. Be kind.

Buddha was wrong?!?

Posted on by jameseke

By James Eke

From Warrior’s Way Podcast #110

I can’t tell you how many times people have told me that they can’t meditate because they get distracted or that they can’t meditate because they think too much. I have wanted to respond with a duh of course dummy you’re human. Of course I don’t but I would like to.

Here is a big secret. We all think too much. Sometimes we think the wrong things too much, sometimes we think the right things too little and most of the time we simply don’t realize we are thinking at all.

Meditation makes us see what is there. It is like holding up a mirror. Sometimes when we really look at ourselves we get judgy and don’t like what we see.

Mindfulness or meditation isn’t about being blissed-out and levitating or always feeling happy and at peace. The training is about really truly seeing and feeling what is going on – it is about getting to the heart of the matter and finding truth with a capital T.

I loved the article because it is talking about this capital T truth. I had my first shot of Moderna a little over a week ago and I can tell you that the only side effect with that first shot was relief and happiness. My brick and mortar martial arts school has been closed for seven months now due to COVID restrictions – tons of students have bailed, some students made of gold and everything good have stuck with me – it has been a real emotional and financial rollercoaster that nothing in this life has prepared me for. Well nothing except for my Zen training. Even with it though I have to tell you I have had days where I couldn’t see the light on the other side even if it was shining in my face.

Through this insane time it has been hard not to feel like you are stretched, rolled and wandering around blindly not knowing which way is up.

Just like our meditation though, we have to accept that sometimes when we sit we walk away thinking how great of a session that was, you were chilled out and feel happy – other times we find ourselves battling our own thoughts and emotions and doing everything we can to breathe and let them go.

I think COVID has been a great lesson for us all. One we will be learning for some time still I think, unless we live in our little bubble oblivious to the world of suffering around us.

COVID has taught us all that nothing is certain in this life.

It has taught us that mortality is what we have and it is fragile for everyone around us and for ourselves.

It has taught us that all the things that we cling to can be taken from us.

It has taught us that we must, truly must think about others first. We can’t act like we are somehow special snowflakes that matter most – do that and just like COVID, our actions, our stupidity can spread and harm others.

When life gives us a lesson about compassion, that everything is changing and always changes, about our connection with others – I would just hope that we all learn the lessons we have been given.

Life can be hard. We have all seen that. What makes our training so important is that when we train properly with all the important aspects embraced we can great events in life, challenges, or our own thoughts and emotions with compassion, with acceptance and with kindness. If we can do this for ourselves we can do it for others and the world around us.

When we embrace this path – this Way, real change happens. And when positive change happens within us it can ripple around us spreading outward – and when enough of us do this just imagine the ripples we can all make together changing this world and ourselves for better.

It all starts here though. With calmly watching the mind, watching the breath, letting go and spreading to yourself and all other living beings compassion, kindness and understanding.

This is what training means. This is what life is about.

It isn’t always going to be easy. But we are strong and we know Buddha was right – there is a path through all of this and walking that path is the most important thing.